Living Authentically

wild hollyhocks

These hollyhocks were found growing on a hillside in an older area of the city as I drove by. Hollyhocks do not grow wild to my knowledge. Maybe the seeds were carried by the wind or by birds, or perhaps a house once stood there.

In my own inner garden, I have been stripping away the excess for months now, even years. My intention is to stay in clarity, because that is the only way I can make decisions. The lack of clarity had kept me stuck for a long time. Clarity requires us to stand our ground and to have a voice.

I played jazz on the piano recently for a wedding, and it felt so good. I was really immersed, feeling the rhythm. It took me to that place within myself that is really me. I was out of touch and now that I have found it, I intend to spend stay conscious of this gift. It’s a state of mind really.

Over time it has been increasingly difficult to fit myself into situations which are not me. Many times I have taken jobs, knowing I could do them, partly for the money and partly because of external pressures. At the time I never considered the consequences of going against the grain, not honouring my true self.

“To thine own self be true.” ~Shakespeare

Though I can do many things, I want to focus on that which holds the most meaning for me. For a long time I have been saying I must live my passions. It is the pathway to my authentic self and what I have always known to be true. I set that intention some time ago, and now the universe is conspiring to see that I stay on the path. Following the heart always feels right though I do feel like I am free falling.

Leopard Mural

Ironically my ability to make my rent this month was supported primarily by my art. And that is the first time it has happened that way, so I think progress is being made.

This is a custom mural panel I just finished. It is acrylic on hardboard, with gold-leaf and mica flakes. The abstract portion is hard to show in a photo, but also has a beautiful smooth textured surface. It felt so good to pass on a commissioned work to its proud new owner.

Art is a language, a form of communication. Without an audience the cycle does not complete and art does not perform its full function, nor does the artist. And it is such a feeling of fulfillment to be able to pass a piece to another. What a feeling of bliss, when one is doing what one is designed to do!

Living Authentically was last modified: January 20th, 2019 by Deborah Robinson

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